My fourth blog for this assignment will reference Recommendation #35: "Inevitably, the parent will become a child while the child will become a parent."
As the previous three blogs have discussed, my mom is very reliant on me. Over the past few years, her reliance on me have gradually increased. While she used to be the one who cooked me meals, helped me pick out my clothes, and listened to me when I was upset, that role has shifted to me. I'm now the one who cooks meals for her, helps her choose outfits to wear, and listens to her vent. I love being there for my mom when she needs me, but twenty-one is a rough age to be at when parenting your own parent. Nonetheless, she was there for me when I was growing up, so I'm delighted to be there for her while she spends the next few decades growing.... down? :)
Monday, December 6, 2010
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Blog Post #3
My third blog for this assignment will reference Recommendation #33: "Disagreements are a reality and should not be avoided. neither should they become a basis for curtailing or limiting a relationship."
I related to this section of the manuscript simply because of the nature of relationships between parents and their children. It is inevitable that Parents and his/ her child will disagree on some level about some thing. In the case of my parents and I, we disagree on many things. During my teenage years, I refused to acknowledge their points of view and constantly avoided the matters causing conflict by just never coming home & refusing to speak to them about the topics. I was essentially curtailing or limiting my relationship with them. Over the years, my relationship with my parents has grown to a point where I no longer participate in such behavior. Rather, I elect to share my point of view with my parents, listen to theirs, and then make the decision that I feel best supports the direction I would like to take in my life. I've found that this method works exceedingly well and allows the three of us to enjoy our times together to a much greater extent. I only wish I had learned to do this sooner.
I related to this section of the manuscript simply because of the nature of relationships between parents and their children. It is inevitable that Parents and his/ her child will disagree on some level about some thing. In the case of my parents and I, we disagree on many things. During my teenage years, I refused to acknowledge their points of view and constantly avoided the matters causing conflict by just never coming home & refusing to speak to them about the topics. I was essentially curtailing or limiting my relationship with them. Over the years, my relationship with my parents has grown to a point where I no longer participate in such behavior. Rather, I elect to share my point of view with my parents, listen to theirs, and then make the decision that I feel best supports the direction I would like to take in my life. I've found that this method works exceedingly well and allows the three of us to enjoy our times together to a much greater extent. I only wish I had learned to do this sooner.
Blog Post #2
My second blog for this assignment will reference Recommendation #8: "Partition personal feelings from the distractions in ministering to the needs of a Senior Citizen."
This might sound horrible, but I could not stop laughing when I read this portion of the manuscript. For years I have been putting into practice the concept of "partitioning" my feelings from what my mother needs from me. This all began when I was a freshman in high school. In December of 2003, my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. She wouldn't allow me to be involved in the medical aspects of her life at the time, but over the years she became almost completely emotionally dependent on me. I became her best friend, even though I did not view her in the same light at the time. Being that she felt so close to me, she began sharing everything with me.... I mean EVERYTHING--- even things a child would never want to know about his/her parents. She would talk to me about everything from what boyfriend she lost her virginity to, to how disappointed she was in my brothers and the lives they've chosen for themselves. Eventually I realized that her opening up to me in this way was a result of the fear of dying that surviving breast cancer had forced upon her. I have learned over the past seven years how to compartmentalize and divide my emotions and personal issues from helping her to deal with her emotions and personal issues. While I'm sure my mother will live for years to come, I understand now that this was just part of her personal aging process.
This might sound horrible, but I could not stop laughing when I read this portion of the manuscript. For years I have been putting into practice the concept of "partitioning" my feelings from what my mother needs from me. This all began when I was a freshman in high school. In December of 2003, my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. She wouldn't allow me to be involved in the medical aspects of her life at the time, but over the years she became almost completely emotionally dependent on me. I became her best friend, even though I did not view her in the same light at the time. Being that she felt so close to me, she began sharing everything with me.... I mean EVERYTHING--- even things a child would never want to know about his/her parents. She would talk to me about everything from what boyfriend she lost her virginity to, to how disappointed she was in my brothers and the lives they've chosen for themselves. Eventually I realized that her opening up to me in this way was a result of the fear of dying that surviving breast cancer had forced upon her. I have learned over the past seven years how to compartmentalize and divide my emotions and personal issues from helping her to deal with her emotions and personal issues. While I'm sure my mother will live for years to come, I understand now that this was just part of her personal aging process.
Blog Post #1
My first blog for this assignment will reference Recommendation #5: "Ask questions that encourage a parent to deal with what may be bothering her in the present and from the past."
This portion of the manuscript stood out to me simply because I find myself following this recommendation rather frequently when conversing with my mother. Although she is not yet a member of the elderly population, it will not be long before she reaches that point in her life. As she struggles with the emotions associated with her outlook the process of aging in general, I serve as an emotional crutch. She truly does seek validation of her feelings on a daily basis. The part about her renditions of events continually changing rings true to my mother as well. She prides herself on having an "amazing" memory though. while my father and I have put two & two together and learned not to correct her or cut off her story before she's finished it, my two older brothers have not been so bright. If they have heard the story one time already, the both of them will cut her off and get an attitude within second of her beginning to speak. I elected to share this passage of the manuscript with my father and my brothers. Hopefully my siblings will catch on!!
This portion of the manuscript stood out to me simply because I find myself following this recommendation rather frequently when conversing with my mother. Although she is not yet a member of the elderly population, it will not be long before she reaches that point in her life. As she struggles with the emotions associated with her outlook the process of aging in general, I serve as an emotional crutch. She truly does seek validation of her feelings on a daily basis. The part about her renditions of events continually changing rings true to my mother as well. She prides herself on having an "amazing" memory though. while my father and I have put two & two together and learned not to correct her or cut off her story before she's finished it, my two older brothers have not been so bright. If they have heard the story one time already, the both of them will cut her off and get an attitude within second of her beginning to speak. I elected to share this passage of the manuscript with my father and my brothers. Hopefully my siblings will catch on!!
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